The Gift of Gab

Surrendering our Tongues

Gloria Nelson

11/18/20242 min read

brown rotary dial telephone in gray painted room
brown rotary dial telephone in gray painted room

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Ephesians 4:29 NIV


Why is it so easy to build conversation around other people’s lives? The juiciest pieces of information we share are almost always about other people. It’s easy to talk about them, while staying very private about our own lives. We protect ourselves and our families, while sometimes being careless to share personal information or feelings about someone else.

Back in the day, gossips were called “busy bodies.” Sitcoms of the 1950’s and 1960’s commonly had a nosey neighbor that liked to peek through the curtains and then discuss what they saw with neighbors out on the sidewalk. Today, with social media, being in everyone’s business is part of the fabric of life. We spend hours researching the personal lives of others. And, if we’re not careful, we could then spend more time judging them for what they post. Talking about others isn’t always bad, but watch out for that slippery slope into gossip!

Let’s face it, it’s fun to be the one with the insider info. It’s satisfying to be the first to send out a text letting our friend group know the latest news. In Christian circles, oversharing can get masked as a prayer request, too. Gossip is addictive and trains our minds to follow an unhealthy pattern. Like any sin, it’s low hanging fruit, so we often take it.

Pay attention to the things you think about and talk about. If you think you might tend towards gossip, ask God to help you change gears when the temptation presents itself. Decide ahead of time that you won’t contribute to it in any way. Practice having days where you only allow yourself to say positive things to, and about, others. Focus your conversations on being a blessing to everyone you come into contact with. You’ll be happier. Your thoughts will begin to change, and, over time, the temptation will fade.

In my twenties, I worked at a large university. I had a lot of fun with my co-workers and enjoyed the student employees that I helped. However, one thing I grew weary of was the gossip. It’s true, the place was crawling with interesting characters! But after awhile my soul felt weary. I made the decision to quietly slip away when conversations slipped into gossip. I didn’t want to know these things and I didn’t want to dishonor anyone by talking about them behind their back.

I can honestly say that back then it was a hard change. I no longer had “the scoop”. I was no longer part of the socializing that went on at work. However, it didn’t take long before I was used to it and enjoyed my clean conscience more than I had enjoyed the backroom banter.

Let the words that come out of your mouth be helpful and encouraging to those who listen.

Gloria Nelson

Teaching & Training Consultant

Read Bio Here

"Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story..."

Psalm 107:2